Our minds cannot repel logic of that magnitude!
Posts tagged Google
FilePirate Moves to CodePlex – Hoping to be ready for LAN
May 3rd
After some dealings with Google with regards to FilePirate, and not dealings in a good way – I determined to move FilePirate away from Google Code. What sits there currently will continue to for a couple months, and will be deleted within a few months. So, with that move, FilePirate found its new home on Microsoft’s CodePlex. Now I’m usually not the fan of Microsoft products or projects, but CodePlex is actually pretty cool. Luckily they offer support for a non-crappy SCM solution now that they’ve picked up support for Mercurial. So, the new home for FilePirate is now http://filepirate.codeplex.com/.
With that being said – it is my plan to actively bring FilePirate back into development, and I hope to have it completed for use at this month’s LAN69 – which is May 28-30. If you’d like to see FilePirate in action, sign up for the LAN and get some fragging in as well. We’ve got some awesome prizes, too!
An Update From The App Review
Apr 16th
This is an update to a previous post: A week under fire of the App Review Gestapo
So, guess what I get again? You guessed it! Another phone call from Apple – not surprisingly enough from the exact same guy who called me on the phone the first time. Once again, his message left for me was recorded in Google Voice. Unfortunately for me, while I wanted to record the conversation, Google Voice cannot record calls made through the Click2Call, only on inbound phone calls and he was disturbing me while I was in the middle of rocking out in Rock Band 2 in expert mode. When I called him back, he was as short as he was the first time through – only this time he recognized me, and promptly asked “haven’t we spoken about this app before?” Why yes, Richard, yes we have – in fact, the first time you gave me bullshit about “insinuating workplace violence.” His response: “well it doesn’t look like you changed anything since I last saw it.” “You’re right, Richard. I haven’t changed anything – because I wasn’t properly told what needed to change. So I sent it back in, and that time got a proper response, claiming I was infringing on Mattel’s rights to Whac-A-Mole, and I wrote up a response to that e-mail that went unanswered, so you got it right back in the status quo.”
Well, his response wasn’t what I wanted to hear. “Well, as it stands, we won’t be putting your app in our store until you remove the word ‘Whack’.” That raises the obvious question: why? It’s a common word in the English dictionary is it not? “Well, our legal team feels that the use of the word ‘whack’ when coupled with this style gameplay is infringing on the rights of the owner of the original Whac-A-Mole.”
You obviously never read my e-mail that I sent to you earlier, did you Apple? Is the e-mail address appreview@apple.com simply a black hole? Well from now on I am referring to that address as The Black Hole of Cupertino. After reciting all the rigmarole that existed in my previous e-mail, citing my speaking with members of the Library of Congress, the existing apps on the store, and all the rest of it – he wasn’t budged anywhere: “Well this is where we stand. Also, why is it that you are so reluctant to change the name of your app? We’re just asking that you remove the word ‘whack’ and replace it with something else like ’smack’ or ‘bop’.”
I think the answer to that is pretty obvious: because it’s my app. It is not yours. You have no control over what I do with my property. Secondly, because the word ‘whack’ is in no way copyrighted or trademarked by anybody. Unless tomorrow Merriam-Webster decides that they’re going to sue everybody for the use of the English language – then the name of my application should have no bearing on your decision. Furthermore, as I had said numerous times before – they do not own the rights to the gameplay! If they did, then why isn’t the family of the creator of the first ever board game, Elizabeth Magie, getting paid billions of dollars from anybody who has ever made a board game? Because gameplay is not a copyrightable or trademarkable commodity! If you had actually read my e-mails, Apple, then you would know my position on this!
“Well, we feel that this is infringing at any rate on Mattel, the owners of Whac-A-Mole.” Fine – make me pull out the next wad of guns that I have: “Well fine then, Richard, we won’t call it original work. We can call it a derivative work. We can then call it a derivative work protected under various US laws – here, ready, go grab a pen.” Yes, I seriously had him go and grab a pen and write this down. “Why don’t you cite off to your precious legal team 17 USC sections 101, 102a, 103b, 106; and while they’re at it they can read the Copyright Office’s circular 14 – also about derivative works.” “Well okay, I will pass this along to our legal team, but I must tell you this is going to be a long process, you’re better off just removing the word ‘whack’ from the name of your app.”
You’re just not getting me yet Richard, are you? Are you just muting the phone every time it is my turn to talk? Or are you seriously just that dense? “No, Richard, I am not changing the name of my app.” He has to ask the dumb question: “why?” “I already answered that for you, weren’t you listening?” “Well yes, you said because you made it and don’t want us telling you what to do – but you did agree to the developer agreement when you signed up, and we’re not going to change the rules just because you think so.”
Yes, I agreed to the developer agreement, and along with that I paid $99. And what do I get for that $99? I want my e-mails answered, I want my questions answered, and I want at least some inkling of fucking support! So, at this point, I want to talk to a manager. His response was priceless: “well I can put you down on the list and a manager will call you back in a couple of days.” Unacceptable. Purely unacceptable. “I want to speak to a manager right now.” “Well that can’t happen.”
At this point, I’m furious. I spew the US laws on derivative works at him again, also tell him that my application, named Whack The Boss is already at the US Copyright office – yes, I had already applied for a copyright, so why don’t you pass my copyright case number along to your legal hounds as well. “Well I will do that. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”
“Yes, Richard. There actually is something else you can help me with today. Why, when I send a question in via e-mail, do I not get a response?” “Well I don’t actually get the e-mails, so I have no idea.” Wait a minute – so you can send me e-mails but I cannot send you an e-mail? So the app review process is a one-way street? That’s great, but now that he has successfully pissed me off – it’s time for me to piss him off. This linguistic barrage is best displayed listed out:
Me: Richard, I’ve got to say – my entire team, including myself, are very upset and disappointed with this iPhone developers program, specifically this app review process. This is nothing more than a blatant stifling of creativity on par with the Nazis burning books.
Him: Well, sir, I don’t particularly see the app review process like burning books.
(Note that he doesn’t say anything about how he doesn’t see a resemblance to the Nazis)
Me: You’re right, Richard – it’s more like the Nazis trying to shape the world.
And silence hits the other end of the phone. For a second I thought he had hung up. Nope, he was just letting it sink in. That’s right, let it sink in. Let the truth sting a little – because that is all the app review process is – Apple trying to shape the world and mold it into what Steve Jobs thinks is best. And I’m not the guy who likes to be told what’s best for me, or what I need to name my fucking product – especially if it is coming from a man like Steve Jobs, who has got to be suffering from the end of syphilis. He is going insane with power, and that insanity and corruption has leaked down to his review team. And so the saga of my fighting for my perfectly original, legitimate, and awesome app to get on Apple’s almighty-second-coming-of-Christ-platform continues.
Oh, by the way Apple – when I replaced the binary – I didn’t make any changes. Have fun reviewing the exact same application over and over and over again.
A week under fire of the App Review Gestapo
Apr 12th
So it has officially been far more than a week since I pushed our game to the App Review team over at crApple. I thought we had it in the bag – the game is polished, practically 100% bug-free, and completely original. There was nothing in my mind that would keep us from getting our game debut on the App Store. Well, up until I get a phone call – yes, a phone call, not an e-mail – from the App Review team:
Obviously Google Voice got it wrong – he actually said app submission, but whatever. So I call him back to see what the deal is. Turns out they’ve got no problem with the concept of my game, just the name of it. The name, they say, “insinuates workplace violence” and they “have a strict stance against [workplace violence].” Now, my game is sort of like Whac-A-Mole, only instead of whacking your mole, you’re whacking your boss and he’s popping up out of cubicles instead of the ground. So I go on to ask him what I need to do to get it approved. He was rather…unhelpful (there are other words I could use to describe him, but I will keep that to a minimum for once). So we get off the phone, I still have no e-mail regarding my rejection – and don’t even have one of those “Your application status has changed” e-mails. Funny. So, naturally, I whip up an e-mail to the review team:
To the App Review Team:
I was recently contacted via phone regarding the submission of our application, ‘Whack The Boss’ (Apple ID XXXXXXXXX ), by [removed to protect the not-so-innocent]. When we spoke on the phone, I was informed that our application was rejected due to an issue with the name, which I was told insinuates workplace violence. Myself and my team members, however, had another question for you with regards to our submission of “Whack The Boss”.
My partners brought to my attention the existence of another game in the App Store called “Wack-A-Boss” (http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewSoftware?id=337463689&mt=8?partnerId=30&siteID=KEmRFwU0WKY-vjcrkvyLh0yBhc_S6IrmdQ). If our submission is rejected due to the name insinuating workplace violence, how is this application in the App Store? In my opinion, our application carries with it less connotations of violence because you cannot take a picture of your boss, girlfriend, mother-in-law, or whoever you wish to pummel and place it within the game. Instead, our application includes cartoon-like pictures that we feel provides for an obvious separation of game versus reality. Also please do note that the name of our application is ‘Whack The Boss’ not ‘Whack Your Boss,’ and in no way is the name of the fictitious company in our game related to any real company.
Furthermore, we would like an explanation as to the rules Apple has regarding violence on the App Store. If it is not acceptable to bonk a boss-like looking cartoon in the face, then how is it acceptable to have a game whose sole purpose is finding the quickest way to kill yourself in 5 minutes (http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/5-minutes-to-kill-yourself/id332644698?mt=8)? If the “violence” displayed in our application is determined by your review team to be frequent or grotesque enough to warrant a rating over 9+, then we will gladly change the rating we have given our application and resubmit it.
If these are not the cases for the rejection of our application, could you please provide a more in-depth explanation on your position regarding our submission? Thank you very much and we look forward to hearing from somebody soon.
Jonathan W Enzinna
Vault Head Games
After a week of no response, I submit the binary again. This time, I get the following wad of horseshit from their team. They apparently think that I’m violating some magical copyright. Apparently you can’t poke or hit anything undesirable that moves up and down without infringing on Whac-A-Mole. Obviously the App Review team is either retarded or they seriously think that something like the movement of a sprite on a screen can be copyrighted.
Please include the line below in follow-up emails for this request.
Follow-up: XXXXXXXXXX
Dear Vault Head Games,
Thank you for submitting Whack The Boss to the App Store. We’ve reviewed Whack The Boss and determined that we cannot post your application because it appears to contain features, namely, content and terminology, that bear a resemblance to a well-known third-party, Whac-a-Mole.
Please remember that pursuant to your agreement with Apple, you represent and warrant that your application does not infringe the rights of another party, and that you are responsible for any liability to Apple because of a claim that your application infringes another party’s rights. Moreover, we may reject or remove your application for any reason, in our sole discretion.
Please provide documentary evidence that you have the rights to use this content to ensure compliance with the iPhone Developer Program License Agreement. Once Legal has reviewed your documentation and confirms its validity, we will proceed with your application review. Be aware that while your iTunes Connect Application State is displayed as Rejected, it is not necessary to upload a new binary in this particular case. However, if your application is not in compliance, and you are able to make the necessary changes, we encourage you to do so and resubmit your binary for review.
Sincerely,
iPad App Review Team
Apparently they completely missed the boat on my first e-mail. So, I whip up yet another response:
Greetings! I have a few questions regarding my submittal, follow-up XXXXXXXXX , application ID XXXXXXXXX. You state below that you cannot post our application because it contains features that resemble Whac-a-Mole. Could you please be more specific with what features are in question so that we may alleviate the problem?
If your review team feels that the concepts and actions behind our game, such as the whacking of an undesirable object or figure popping up from out of some sort of container, infringes the ‘Whac-A-Mole’ party’s rights, then you should know that upon speaking directly with members of the Library of Congress’ Copyright Office, I was informed that the action of whacking an undesirable object or figure is not copyrightable material. Therefore, while our application is a different expression of a well known concept, it does not infringe on any copyrights owned by the creators/makers of the original ‘Whac-A-Mole.’
I also have question regarding an existing application curently on the App Store that has features that you find infringing, Wack-A-Boss (http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/wack-a-boss/id337463689?mt=8). If this also contains identical features, content, and terminology, then how did this application achieve its approval and what makes it different from our application? I think tt should be known that our team has already had to rename our application once prior to submission from its original Whack-A-Boss to Whack-The-Boss because its original name was already available on the app store.
I can point to many other instances of applications that reside on the app store that have names that resemble “Whac-A-Mole” and I can point to many instances of other games that resemble it as well – case in point Whac-A-Banker, which was a major hit in Britain and was never the target of a legal suit. I see no other instances of a game called “Whack-The-Boss” on the App Store, nor can I find any other product anywhere with that name. For these reasons I do not feel that the name of our application should be any concern to Apple with regards to the review of our application.
Furthermore, if the content is what is in question, it should be known that all of our content is entirely original and 100% hand-drawn by our own artist. All of the artwork and content within our application is original, and the property of our organization. Sounds were purchased from a reputable and legal royalty-free sound supplier, as was the music loop. If the piece of our application that is in question is its features, then I will point you in the direction back to Wack-A-Boss, which currently sits on the App Store and contains nearly identical features with less graphical pizazz. Absolutely none of our content was ripped-off or stolen from other developers or applications.If any documentation is necessary in the forms of affidavits stating that our work is original, copies of any of the licenses provided with the purchased sounds and music loops, they can be easily sent. Please note that we are currently in the process of filing for a legal copyright, however the Copyright Office informed me that it could be up to 9 months before we receive an official copyright certificate. In the meantime, we hold a statutory copyright on all of the materials.
I must be frank and say that personally I have found this App Review process to be significantly more of a daunting task than it needs to be. A precedent had already been set when Wack-A-Boss was approved to the App Store, and the ground had already been paved for our application to make its way through. Yet we get rejected for reasons that should have clearly caused the rejection and/or removal of other apps that currently sit on the App Store. We feel that this is stifling creativity and has caused major upset and disappointment in entire iPhone development process both for myself and the rest of my team. It should not be as difficult as it has been for my team to get our creative and original work in the App Store for iPhone/iPod/iPad users to enjoy.I would prefer for a manager of the App Review Team to contact me via telephone at their earliest convenience so that we may resolve this matter in a timely fashion. I can be reached on my cellular phone at (XXX) XXX-XXXX. Thank you, and I look forward to hearing back from somebody soon.
Jonathan Enzinna
Vault Head Games
And here we go, back to square one. Apparently the App Review team feels it necessary to stint the creative development of products on their platforms – and they don’t want to tell their developers the reasoning behind their rejecting applications. They also don’t want to give feedback to their developers in any fashion whatsoever. Trying to call back the guy who called me early the other week gets me nowhere – no answer. Sending e-mails gets me nowhere – no response. Maybe the Apple Gestapo Review Nazis want me to hop on a plain, fly out to Cupertino, and suck Steve Job’s old and crumpled dick in order to get some action out of their review team.
When I first got my iPhone, I loved it. When I first started developing for my iPhone, I started to hate it. When I finished my first app for my iPhone, I learned to despise Apple. So where am I now? Ready to smash my phone with a mallet and mail it out to Cupertino. Best of luck to Steve Jobs and Apple in trying to get $99 from me when my renewal comes up or getting me to upgrade my device – as soon as my contract date comes up in October I very well may just go find a platform that truly supports creativity and isn’t around just to bone you in the ass every time a chance rolls along.
>> Read the update here <<
Happy New Year!
Jan 5th
Well everybody! Since it’s been a while, here’s to doing what I do best: waiting months before giving anybody an update! So, here’s the update! It’s a new year (happy new year everybody, btw), and with a new year I usually decide to make a ton of changes, so here’s the game-plan!
This weekend I plan on getting the next release of the WordPress-SMF Bridge Plugin completed. This is a major bugfix release that was made possible by all the fine folks reporting issues with the plugin!
Secondly, most major categories are going to be split into subdomains that are going to act like separate blogs. Notably, my rounds through my new Dwarven Fortress, Beerdragon the Apex of Man, will be available for reading at dwarffort.jonnyfunfun.com, gaming-related posts will be available at gaming.jonnyfunfun.com, programming-related posts will be available at programming.jonnyfunfun.com, and the projects page will be forwarding you to my Google Code profile page and from there you will be able to choose where you want to go. Each of these subdomains will have a different look and feel about them (hopefully, if I can get it working) that is a bit more appropriate for the topic. The main site will also be receiving a facelift.
Now, on that note, changes to my website are not the only things coming down the pipe. On top of that, Vault Head Games is going to make a splash while we rigorously start working on our first iPhone app – so that website will be receiving some well-needed, and far over-due TLC. I will also be starting a new job on the 11th, which being less of a drive and better hours is going to provide much more time for me to actually keep this blog up and moving.
So, with all that, happy new year everybody, and let’s make a big splash here in 2010!
Long Awaited Release of the WordPress-SMF Bridge 0.2!
Nov 23rd
For those of you using this plugin, the long-awaited 0.2 release has been made today. It has only been tested in a development environment and may have bugs. For anybody wishing to report bugs do not do it here! Instead, please go to the Google Code page (http://code.google.com/p/wp-smf-bridge) and do so there. My response to questions here will be severely delayed. Please use Google Code and the Google Group created for this plugin. Thank you all for your support!
WP-SMF-Bridge is a simple user registration and logon bridge between WordPress and Simple Machine Forum. To get this working, it is highly recommended that you have a fresh, unmodified install of SMF 1.1 or higher installed and running. To install the plugin, either use WordPress’ built-in plugin installation features, or visit the Google Code page for more information.
A Simple Flex IRC Client
Nov 18th
For those of you who use Adobe Flex and IRC, the simple IRC client written in Flex that I use on The Brew Place is now available on Google Code and is released under the MIT License! Check it out here:
http://code.google.com/p/simpleflexirc/
More Adobe Flex and other projects are expected to make the migration to Google Code within the next few weeks, so keep yourselves posted!
Lots of things in the pipe – busted hand keeping it back
Nov 16th
Okay, so first thing is first – there’s a lot of things in the pipe that I haven’t gotten to announcing. Namely, my projects have been moved from their old Redmine-powered site, and they are now being hosted between GitHub and Google Code. They will be posted shortly with each of their individual details. Also in the pipe is another website of mine, followed closely by another project that has yet to catch the wind!
Now, on a rather grim note – what’s been holding most of this back? Well, a few weeks ago I busted up my hand really good. Now, it’s not in a cast, but what I do have is some really awesome damage to the muscles and ligaments. That means that typing is followed by a boatload of pain, almost promptly followed by painkillers, and this process will continue for, what the doctor says, up to three weeks. Lovely.
