Our minds cannot repel logic of that magnitude!
Posts tagged E Mail
A week under fire of the App Review Gestapo
Apr 12th
So it has officially been far more than a week since I pushed our game to the App Review team over at crApple. I thought we had it in the bag – the game is polished, practically 100% bug-free, and completely original. There was nothing in my mind that would keep us from getting our game debut on the App Store. Well, up until I get a phone call – yes, a phone call, not an e-mail – from the App Review team:
Obviously Google Voice got it wrong – he actually said app submission, but whatever. So I call him back to see what the deal is. Turns out they’ve got no problem with the concept of my game, just the name of it. The name, they say, “insinuates workplace violence” and they “have a strict stance against [workplace violence].” Now, my game is sort of like Whac-A-Mole, only instead of whacking your mole, you’re whacking your boss and he’s popping up out of cubicles instead of the ground. So I go on to ask him what I need to do to get it approved. He was rather…unhelpful (there are other words I could use to describe him, but I will keep that to a minimum for once). So we get off the phone, I still have no e-mail regarding my rejection – and don’t even have one of those “Your application status has changed” e-mails. Funny. So, naturally, I whip up an e-mail to the review team:
To the App Review Team:
I was recently contacted via phone regarding the submission of our application, ‘Whack The Boss’ (Apple ID XXXXXXXXX ), by [removed to protect the not-so-innocent]. When we spoke on the phone, I was informed that our application was rejected due to an issue with the name, which I was told insinuates workplace violence. Myself and my team members, however, had another question for you with regards to our submission of “Whack The Boss”.
My partners brought to my attention the existence of another game in the App Store called “Wack-A-Boss” (http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewSoftware?id=337463689&mt=8?partnerId=30&siteID=KEmRFwU0WKY-vjcrkvyLh0yBhc_S6IrmdQ). If our submission is rejected due to the name insinuating workplace violence, how is this application in the App Store? In my opinion, our application carries with it less connotations of violence because you cannot take a picture of your boss, girlfriend, mother-in-law, or whoever you wish to pummel and place it within the game. Instead, our application includes cartoon-like pictures that we feel provides for an obvious separation of game versus reality. Also please do note that the name of our application is ‘Whack The Boss’ not ‘Whack Your Boss,’ and in no way is the name of the fictitious company in our game related to any real company.
Furthermore, we would like an explanation as to the rules Apple has regarding violence on the App Store. If it is not acceptable to bonk a boss-like looking cartoon in the face, then how is it acceptable to have a game whose sole purpose is finding the quickest way to kill yourself in 5 minutes (http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/5-minutes-to-kill-yourself/id332644698?mt=8)? If the “violence” displayed in our application is determined by your review team to be frequent or grotesque enough to warrant a rating over 9+, then we will gladly change the rating we have given our application and resubmit it.
If these are not the cases for the rejection of our application, could you please provide a more in-depth explanation on your position regarding our submission? Thank you very much and we look forward to hearing from somebody soon.
Jonathan W Enzinna
Vault Head Games
After a week of no response, I submit the binary again. This time, I get the following wad of horseshit from their team. They apparently think that I’m violating some magical copyright. Apparently you can’t poke or hit anything undesirable that moves up and down without infringing on Whac-A-Mole. Obviously the App Review team is either retarded or they seriously think that something like the movement of a sprite on a screen can be copyrighted.
Please include the line below in follow-up emails for this request.
Follow-up: XXXXXXXXXX
Dear Vault Head Games,
Thank you for submitting Whack The Boss to the App Store. We’ve reviewed Whack The Boss and determined that we cannot post your application because it appears to contain features, namely, content and terminology, that bear a resemblance to a well-known third-party, Whac-a-Mole.
Please remember that pursuant to your agreement with Apple, you represent and warrant that your application does not infringe the rights of another party, and that you are responsible for any liability to Apple because of a claim that your application infringes another party’s rights. Moreover, we may reject or remove your application for any reason, in our sole discretion.
Please provide documentary evidence that you have the rights to use this content to ensure compliance with the iPhone Developer Program License Agreement. Once Legal has reviewed your documentation and confirms its validity, we will proceed with your application review. Be aware that while your iTunes Connect Application State is displayed as Rejected, it is not necessary to upload a new binary in this particular case. However, if your application is not in compliance, and you are able to make the necessary changes, we encourage you to do so and resubmit your binary for review.
Sincerely,
iPad App Review Team
Apparently they completely missed the boat on my first e-mail. So, I whip up yet another response:
Greetings! I have a few questions regarding my submittal, follow-up XXXXXXXXX , application ID XXXXXXXXX. You state below that you cannot post our application because it contains features that resemble Whac-a-Mole. Could you please be more specific with what features are in question so that we may alleviate the problem?
If your review team feels that the concepts and actions behind our game, such as the whacking of an undesirable object or figure popping up from out of some sort of container, infringes the ‘Whac-A-Mole’ party’s rights, then you should know that upon speaking directly with members of the Library of Congress’ Copyright Office, I was informed that the action of whacking an undesirable object or figure is not copyrightable material. Therefore, while our application is a different expression of a well known concept, it does not infringe on any copyrights owned by the creators/makers of the original ‘Whac-A-Mole.’
I also have question regarding an existing application curently on the App Store that has features that you find infringing, Wack-A-Boss (http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/wack-a-boss/id337463689?mt=8). If this also contains identical features, content, and terminology, then how did this application achieve its approval and what makes it different from our application? I think tt should be known that our team has already had to rename our application once prior to submission from its original Whack-A-Boss to Whack-The-Boss because its original name was already available on the app store.
I can point to many other instances of applications that reside on the app store that have names that resemble “Whac-A-Mole” and I can point to many instances of other games that resemble it as well – case in point Whac-A-Banker, which was a major hit in Britain and was never the target of a legal suit. I see no other instances of a game called “Whack-The-Boss” on the App Store, nor can I find any other product anywhere with that name. For these reasons I do not feel that the name of our application should be any concern to Apple with regards to the review of our application.
Furthermore, if the content is what is in question, it should be known that all of our content is entirely original and 100% hand-drawn by our own artist. All of the artwork and content within our application is original, and the property of our organization. Sounds were purchased from a reputable and legal royalty-free sound supplier, as was the music loop. If the piece of our application that is in question is its features, then I will point you in the direction back to Wack-A-Boss, which currently sits on the App Store and contains nearly identical features with less graphical pizazz. Absolutely none of our content was ripped-off or stolen from other developers or applications.If any documentation is necessary in the forms of affidavits stating that our work is original, copies of any of the licenses provided with the purchased sounds and music loops, they can be easily sent. Please note that we are currently in the process of filing for a legal copyright, however the Copyright Office informed me that it could be up to 9 months before we receive an official copyright certificate. In the meantime, we hold a statutory copyright on all of the materials.
I must be frank and say that personally I have found this App Review process to be significantly more of a daunting task than it needs to be. A precedent had already been set when Wack-A-Boss was approved to the App Store, and the ground had already been paved for our application to make its way through. Yet we get rejected for reasons that should have clearly caused the rejection and/or removal of other apps that currently sit on the App Store. We feel that this is stifling creativity and has caused major upset and disappointment in entire iPhone development process both for myself and the rest of my team. It should not be as difficult as it has been for my team to get our creative and original work in the App Store for iPhone/iPod/iPad users to enjoy.I would prefer for a manager of the App Review Team to contact me via telephone at their earliest convenience so that we may resolve this matter in a timely fashion. I can be reached on my cellular phone at (XXX) XXX-XXXX. Thank you, and I look forward to hearing back from somebody soon.
Jonathan Enzinna
Vault Head Games
And here we go, back to square one. Apparently the App Review team feels it necessary to stint the creative development of products on their platforms – and they don’t want to tell their developers the reasoning behind their rejecting applications. They also don’t want to give feedback to their developers in any fashion whatsoever. Trying to call back the guy who called me early the other week gets me nowhere – no answer. Sending e-mails gets me nowhere – no response. Maybe the Apple Gestapo Review Nazis want me to hop on a plain, fly out to Cupertino, and suck Steve Job’s old and crumpled dick in order to get some action out of their review team.
When I first got my iPhone, I loved it. When I first started developing for my iPhone, I started to hate it. When I finished my first app for my iPhone, I learned to despise Apple. So where am I now? Ready to smash my phone with a mallet and mail it out to Cupertino. Best of luck to Steve Jobs and Apple in trying to get $99 from me when my renewal comes up or getting me to upgrade my device – as soon as my contract date comes up in October I very well may just go find a platform that truly supports creativity and isn’t around just to bone you in the ass every time a chance rolls along.
>> Read the update here <<
MassiveLAN/JonnyFunFun.net Left 4 Dead Server
Apr 3rd
So, to help make my obsession with Left 4 Dead worse than it already is, I put up a dedicated L4D server on my server. The server has been put up as a MassiveLAN group server for all attendees and staff of MassiveLAN to battle on. So, if you’re a Left 4 Dead player, feel free to either connect directly to, or through the MassiveLAN steam group, the server: l4d.jonnyfunfun.net:27015. The server runs 24/7 and hosts only Versus mode. There are some tweaks to the config that will come down within the next few weeks, so please bear with me on that front. If anybody has any problems, complaints, or suggestions, feel free to post a comment here or send me an e-mail and I’ll see what I can work out!
